Who's that Poet?

Get to know Rebecca Marie

In Who’s that Poet? we will introduce a contributor every other month. Our first contributor is Rebecca and her interview is full of honesty and wisdom. It will also make you want to go to Australia just to hang out with her! Grab a drink and let’s go!

First things first, please introduce yourself and share some fun facts:

I’m married to Zac and we have two little boys, Henry (5) and George (3) in Perth, Western Australia. I’m a Clinical Psychologist Registrar. The registrar bit means that I’m apprenticed to another, more experienced psych while I pursue my specialist title endorsement (the clinical bit).

My background is in forensic settings but I enjoy the flexibility of working in private practice part-time, mostly working with trauma. I love the distinctly analogue work of sitting quietly with someone, connecting, sifting through emotions and thoughts, bearing witness to battles fought that no one else knows. Therapy feels like one of the only places left that a phone is not allowed.

I smush teaching women the bible, coordinating a playgroup, writing, and podcasting in the margins.

My spiritual gift is losing things.

How long have you been writing poetry and what made you start?

Poetry was actually a fun deviation from my plan. I’ve always written in journals, but only for myself. It’s the way I process the world. A few years ago, I realised I wanted to start writing online but I was also terrified. So, I started writing a newsletter for the playgroup I coordinate as a way to lull myself into it.

I joined Exhale, but all I did in the first year was lurk, write prompts, and listen to the podcast! In my second year, I joined the Exhale Facebook group, got linked in with a Mastermind group, and launched my newsletter and podcast (The Sunday Morning Snuggle).

I was surprised by how much joy sharing my words publicly, and writing in community bought me.

Around the same time, I had been reading Kate Baer and Mary Oliver’s poetry. It was raw and honest and kind of on my side, like you didn’t have to fight for understanding underneath layers of analysis. So when I saw Part-Time Poets was recruiting about six months ago, I jumped in with both feet. I hadn’t written poetry before that. Ever. But the love was immediate. Poetry is raw and honest, and I’m loving the practice of writing with the Part-Time Poets women.

What is your writing process like?

Mostly, a phrase or an image hits me while I’m driving or walking or doing dishes. I scramble to jot it in my Google docs app. Sometimes I will jot down some initial thoughts from a writing prompt. I mull over it for a couple of days and add a few lines here and there, in between doing other things.

I let it sit for a few more days before sitting down properly with my laptop on a Sunday afternoon to mess with the line breaks and word choices. I let it marinate for a while longer before I ruthlessly cull every word that doesn’t need to be there.

After that, I figure it is good enough, and send it off into the world for feedback before I suffocate in self-doubt. I make one round of edits, submit, and move on with my life.

I wish I had known the joy that came from sharing words and hearing that they resonate with other women. I wish I had known the joy that came from doing what I feel like God designed me to do. I spent far too long hiding away in fear, and I never considered that perhaps the joy might outweigh fear. So if you want to try something creative, start! It’s such a joy to do something just for the fun of it.

How do you make or find time to write?

Oh man, I just do. But I’ve always been that way. I don’t know what I think or feel until I write it down. The joys of having a mind that is like a farm dog. Writing forces me to sit and parse through thoughts. I guess, practically, this looks like my phone going onto Do Not Disturb after dinner and the kids’ bedtime, curling up in my bed with my journal to write evening pages.

I brain dump anything on my mind before I go to sleep. This also helps me to turn off my brain so I don’t lie awake at night. In the morning I read my bible and write out my prayers by hand (it helps me pay attention). I might jot lines into Google Docs on my lunch break or waiting outside my son’s class.

I think the habit of writing daily means there are a few treasures in amongst the garbage that is my evening pages, so it feels less like starting from scratch, like “today I will write a poem!” and more like tricking myself into doing it bit by bit.

How does being a mother impact your poetry?

For me, motherhood broke down my barriers to letting other people in, letting them see my flaws and failings. I never saw the depth of my need for a Saviour as badly as when I had children. They needed me in a way I had never been needed before, and to parent them in the way they needed, required me to change in ways that hurt my pride.

But it’s hard to take yourself too seriously when you’re covered in vomit. Motherhood is hard and it is the great equaliser, knowing that we all are doing it. I think it has pushed me to be vulnerable, I don’t think my poetry would be as raw had I not had children.

I would have been too scared to even learn something publicly. But my weird, angry, raw poems have been, surprisingly for me, the most popular things I have written. I think because honesty connects us. The day to day grind of parenthood is good for my perfectionist soul.

The poem simply cannot be perfect, so it has to be good enough.

It is a relief to write something and move on. And lastly, it is a joy in this season of life, to be doing something just for the joy of it, when the rest of life feels like planting seeds for some far off harvest I might never see.

Do you have any other creative pursuits? How do they relate to or enhance your poetry?

I also write essays and run a podcast. I really enjoy the ability to bounce between mediums whenever I feel stuck. All that matters to me is that I put something out, so if an essay is tricky, I can write poetry instead and let the essay marinate in the back of my mind.

I read a stupid amount of books. I like to cook. Pre-kids I used to dance West Coast Swing, which doesn’t really fit my lifestyle now and I miss it.