Behind the Poem

What You Missed at Bachelor Night by Lorren Lemmons

Spending time with a group of women is often fun, occasionally challenging, but almost always what my soul needs.

What You Missed at Bachelor Night

after Brad Aaron Modlin

The episode, of course—that thing Jenny C. said
that made Amanda R. cry; that windy kiss 
in the helicopter, headsets bonking
together like middle-school braces,
the crumpling faces of the rose-less women.
The homemade sourdough scones Evie baked
because the day stretched on like a blank
ream of paper, begging to be filled.
Dina dissecting every bulge and blemish
of the gorgeous women on-screen, holding a pillow
across her belly. Rachel, starry-eyed
as the leading man validates each woman
parading her traumas in a bid for connection, 
imagining her own husband’s hand on her thigh
as he asks her how she feels, really.
And the whispered confidences after the final rose—
the thorns in the flesh, the shards of glass
under our bare feet. For some reason, we do not say
I want to be with you because I am lonely.
Instead, we turn on a show and gather
at its plastic altar in exchange for those few moments
before we slide our feet into slippers and walk out
to our cars in the snow. 

I first heard Brad Aaron Modlin's poem, "What You Missed That Day You Were Absent from Fourth Grade," on Poetry Unbound.

The poem has really stayed with me, but I didn't think of writing a poem this way until Brinn Bagley encouraged her Substack readers to write a poem in the same style. (Also, if you don't subscribe to Brinn's newsletter, you definitely should).

I have been going to a weekly Bachelor watching night for the last few years, and it has quickly become apparent to me that I don't care all that much about what's happening in the show---I just need an excuse to get together with friends, especially now that my kids are in school and I don't have playdates as an excuse. Spending time with a group of women is often fun, occasionally challenging, but almost always what my soul needs.

Please note all the characters in this poem are not real, although some of them were inspired by real comments. :)

This poem was first published in Issue 22.